I was born and raised in Afghanistan, but originally I’m not an Afghan. The image of the three young women is from early 1970s around the time I was five or six years old. I was born in a family that belong to a small minority ethnicity of Qizilbash, living in Kabul as an outsiders for seven generations.
This is what the Wikipedia say about who I am and where's my roots:
Qizilbash or Kizilbash (Turkish: Kızılbaş “Red-Head”, sometimes also Qezelbash or Qazilbash, Persian: قزلباش / qezelbāš) were a wide variety of Shi’i militant groups that flourished in Iranian Azerbaijan (historic Azerbaijan, also known as “Iranian Azerbaijan”), Anatolia and Kurdistan from the late 15th century onwards, some of which contributed to the foundation of the Safavid dynasty of Iran.
Qizilbash In Afghanistan
Mohammad Naib Sharif, leader of the Qizilbash group in Afghanistan during the First Anglo-Afghan War of 1839–42
Qizilbash in Afghanistan live in urban areas, such as Kabul, Herat or Mazari Sharif, as well as in certain villages in Hazarajat. They are descendants of the troops left behind by Nadir Shah during his “Indian campaign” in 1738. Afghanistan’s Qizilbash held important posts in government offices in the past, and today engage in trade or are craftsmen. Since the creation of Afghanistan, they constitute an important and politically influential element of society. Estimates of their population vary from 30,000 to 200,000. They are Persian-speaking Shi’i Muslims.
Sir Mountstuart Elphinstone described the Qizilbash of Kabul in the beginning of the 19th century as “a colony of Turks,” who spoke “Persian, and among themselves Turkish.” Described as learned, affluent, and influential, they appear to have abandoned their native Turkish language in favour of Persian, and became “in fact Persianized Turks”. Lady Florentia Sale (wife of Sir Robert Henry Sale) and Vincent Eyre – both companions of Sir Mountstuart Elphinstone – described the Qizilbash of Afghanistan also as “Persians, of Persian descent”.
The influence of the Qizilbash in the government created resentment among the ruling Pashtun clans, especially after the Qizilbash openly allied themselves with the British during the First Anglo-Afghan War (1839–1842). During Abdur Rahman Khan’s massacre of the Shi’i minorities in Afghanistan, the Qizilbash were declared “enemies of the state” and were persecuted and hunted by the government and by the Sunni majority.
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So, I belong to a tiny minority ethnicity, Qizilbash, in Afghanistan. My direct ancestors helped with the formation of Afghanistan’s first government by a Pashtun, Ahmad Shaw Abdali. My extended family enjoyed their royalty life until they were the "enemies of the state," declared by Amir Abdul Rahman Khan, towards the end of the eighteenth century (1880-1900). That was the time that my great grandfather, Nabi Khan Wassel, (famous Persian poet by the name of Wassel Kabuli), who was the King Abdul Rahman Khan's secretary, was poisoned and killed by the King.
The Qizilbashs were massacred; of those remaining, some went to prison; some were exiled; some were put on a house arrest. A small number of us including our extended family stayed in Kabul and lived a quiet life. We were not to have any military or government posts. One generation before my father’s, we were not allowed to go to school or stay in one place for a long time. We were under watch for not gaining any influence or authority. And during my father’s generation, we could only have small shop, work in an office, or study to become doctors and engineers. There’s was a time towards the end of Zahir Shah’s government in 1960s that almost all the prominent doctors in Kabul were from the Qizilbash ethnicity and that when Zahir Shah was forced to see a doctor, he admitted that “we took the military powers from you people, but at the end our lives are in your hands after all.”
Qizilbashs are best described as elite, progressive, safety minded people with a strong will power. We were well respected among Afghans of all other ethnic groups.
During all the unrest of the 1979 Soviet invasion of Afghanistan, the Qizilbashs were probably the only ethnicity with least casualties. Except for the three extended family members, I don’t remember anybody being killed by the all the wars in Afghanistan. Although I have some family members in Afghanistan now, but the majority of my extended family have settled out of Afghanistan.
I got out of Kabul when I was seventeen years old and haven't gone back again. I don't feel a connection to my birth place. In fact, I don't feel I belong to anywhere specific in the world. My home is where I live, and my people are the everyone I meet along the way and make connections with. There's a small Persian community living in Maui, and I'm grateful to share some Farsi poetry nights with them. Practicing spirituality and meditation has brought me closer to nature and the reality of life that labeling myself to be from anywhere doesn't have a significant meaning. I'm a citizen of this earth.
Please feel free to comment or ask questions below.
